I Don't Want to Be Born (1975)

Peter Sasdy directed Taste the Blood of Dracula, one of my favorite in Hammers Dracula-franchise. He also is the man behind the criminally underrated Hands of the Ripper, where Jack the Rippers daughter goes on a killing spree on the foggy streets of London. I don't want to be born might not be his best work, that I'll confess, but it's a wonderfully sleazy and silly version of The Omen/Exorcist/random religious horror movie from the seventies - except this one has Joan Collins chewing the scenery!

The story is simple. Joan is living with her fantastic Italian husband in London. She's pregnant with a baby, and we met her when she's just giving birth to the little monster. After a bucket or two with sweat, Donald Pleasence mumbles something like "It don't want to be born", and out the baby pops! But wait a minute! Do you think it would end happy here? Nananana! Because maybe year earlier, when Joan was a famous stripper (with a lot of clothes on!) she got molested by a dwarf, and when she refused his invite, he sends some evil satanic curses on her!

So it won't take long until the baby gives people bitch-slaps, uses it's nails to scratch innocent nuns... and soon it also kills... Kills... KILLS!!!!

This is with out a doubt the silliest killer-child movie I've ever seen. That's not a bad thing, and it's way more fun than Larry Cohens snooze-fest It's Alive! But just don't expect something serious and scary, just expect a staring baby with eerie music in the background, a dashing Joan Collins and a very nice performance by Donald Pleasence. Caroline Munro is also in there, playing an old stripper-friend of Joan. So it's damn nice cast! But it's never scary, and the baby just looks cute when they trying to make him look evil. The script is a bit... uneven too. I like the aggressive nun, the sister of the Italian husband, and her paranoida regarding the baby. So with the nanny working for the family, but on the other side - Joan and her husband is almost never with the baby. The scriptwriter lets the little meathead sleep "in the room above" so it won't be to much trouble with the script and he could focus on something else than that silly little devil. It's more drinking, smoking, walking around in chic clothes than tender baby-caring! Just the way we want it!

Yes, there's some gore too. An excellent, graphic and bloody decapitation! Some minor blood here and there before and after too, but this head-chopping-extravaganza is the cherry on the Sasdy-cake!

I'm very fond of movies like I Don't Want to Be Born (or Sharon's Baby as it was released as also, to capitalize on Rosemarys Baby). It's a silly silly movie, but with the always entertaining Joan Collins and a bucket of blood. That makes my day.