Saturday, November 12, 2011

Don't Wake the Dead (2008)

Because I have nothing intelligent to write about Andreas Schnaas Don't Wake the Dead I'll just share my comments on Facebook, who I wrote while watching the movie. Please don't hurt me, Mr Schnaas!

Ok, let's talk about Don't Wake The Dead...

First of, Schnaas has a career in movies. I don't. So that gives me full right to hate his movies.

Is this a porn movie or a daytime soap?

A movie always becomes better if you use the camera microphone to record the sound - NOT!

Of lord! And people complain about the digital effects in The Asylum's movies.

Nice location. Can't whine about that! But I would like to!

Aha, the hired a dwarf with an oversized hat. Or maybe he's just a short German guy?

They couldn't even put energy on a decent painting of Hitler. Oh, it's not Hitler. Just a random Nazi.

For being a famous gore-director he's totally incompetent in filming effective gore-scenes!

Oh no. The band. And the act like a bunch of catholic priests at a summer camp for girls: not at all.

A woman is talking loud to herself while stumbling around outside the castle.

Is she being raped by the zombie monks? No, just by the dialogue.

‎"Hello! I'm 38 and pretend to be 19!"

Yeah, to speed up footage to make something look faster is always a brilliant idea.

But seriously, I would give a lot to be able to have a career like Schnaas. The difference is that I would make better movies.

The composer obviously just fed his cat with Chili and locked it in the closet together with his synthesizer.

"This is totally ridiculous!" - both a line from the movie and my opinion about it.

Why do people taking all the time, telling us EVERYTHING they do?!????

An actress tries to act shocked. That or she's having a minor attack of epilepsy.

I guess the zombies can't get in the house because they didn't have permission splash blood inside?

There's no furniture in this castle.

I hope someone mercy-killed the cast and crew afterwards.

A headless body suddenly has a head, and the only thing the camera man had to do was to turn the camera one inch.

It would be more powerful if the woman playing a leather-zombie could stop smiling.

On the positive side, I'm not bored! Which according to my rules means this is a good movie. But rules needs to be broken from time to time.

WTF! A fucking concert!

I guess the members must be from one of those classes for "special kids". They act like that anyway.

Andreas Schnaas gives eurocult a bad name.

The singer of the band sounds like a twelve year old boyscout who needs to take a dump.

Modern Talking is better than this band and Dieter Bohlen and Thomas Anders even look like real zombies, but with more surgery.

Accidentally killed by a broken wine bottle... She fell on it. Just like that.

Another thing I like: the zombies as dry powder blood and the humans as wet blood.

One nice kill now, with realistic prosthetics. First time in this movie.

I'm starting to get bored now. To much talking.

Most of the gore is quite fun, but badly filmed.

God, I HATE this concert scene!!!!!!

It's over!!!! I can tell ya one thing, if Schnaas called me now and said how much he hated me but at the same time told me to come down to Germany and do small role in his next movie to see how fun it is, I would do it without hesitation!

That's it folks!

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