Haters Gonna Hate: Ninja Dixon's the Top Ten of 2012!

Hey! Another year has passed and it’s time for yet another silly Top Ten list of 2012! I don’t like doing lists because it reveals my bad taste in movies, but I only live once and at least one or two of my choices will make someone upset. That’s what makes my heart tick a little bit extra. And no, I just don’t care if a movie has been released at some obscure festival during 2011, it’s the official release that counts. I’m not gonna list them in any particularly order, because in my humble world its very hard to say that one movie is slightly better than the next. So, are you ready?

The Innkeepers
- Ti West impressed us all (but not you, I know – so don’t bother) with House of the Devil and even if The Innkeepers is a very different movie it’s still an original, smart and very atmospheric ghost story, close to be just an indie slacker-drama. Which is fine by me, because the story makes me care about the characters and believe me, I was sitting on the edge of my sofa the whole movie.

Grabbers
- This years surprise was, without a doubt, this Irish sleeper, THE best monster-comedy since Tremors with the same quality of the humor, drama and characters. The effects is stunning and fun, but in the end it’s lovable characters and fine dialogue that makes this Grabbers this years biggest winner. And most important, it jokes about alcoholism – but never jokes about alcoholics.

Prometheus
- This will be the original “haters gonna hate” on this list, but I totally fell for this amazing, visual and crazy motherf**king film. I just don’t care if something doesn’t add up in the end – because it’s a FILM! It’s not reality. It’s a saga, a fantasy, and I’m just not nerdy enough to even care about plot holes. One negative thing I can say is that the power diminishes on the small screen compared to what I saw in the cinema.

Masks
- I just don’t understand how this “German Giallo” can have been released without people all over the world not knowing about it. A stylish twist on Suspiria, Deep Red and every other Italian thriller from the 70’s… and with a good amount of gore and nudity, wonderful visuals and excellent acting (most of the time anyway). I predict it will be next years sleeper hit on DVD and blu-ray everywhere.

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning
- WTF? The trillionth sequel to Universal Soldier? Yeah, exactly. But you who have seen this knows why. An original dark twisted story right down the depths of the Universal Soldier saga, part Apocalypse Now, part mega-violent martial arts. Great actors, breathtaking BRUTAL fights and a very fresh take on something that could have been really, really bad in the hands of the wrong people.

Livide
- Ditching Hollywood, ditching bigger budgets and making Livide. Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury was brave enough to follow their own path and make this impressive fantasy-horror-drama with nods to classic Italian and French horror (Argento and Rollin comes to mind) and do something so drastically different than their modern classic Inside. Beautiful and haunting.

Sinister
- I’ve really thought this over… and Sinister, with it’s weak ending, is one of the best horror films of 2012. It’s not without flaws – not only the ending – but the atmosphere is fanastic, the acting fine and the set-up, the concept of the film with the disturbing super 8 footage is SO good. It’s a nice twisty story and it’s always entertaining, but I wished it could have stayed with a more basic, down-to-earth mystery than what we got now. Can’t wait to see what they’ll do with the sequel.

Father's Day
- After a lot of trouble and problems Father’s Day finally got released on DVD and BD and it’s a movie worth waiting for. Similar in mood to last years The Taint, but with even more intelligence and edgy satire, gore and action – and one of the few neo-grindhouse films that’s succeeded to give us characters to care about. Sure, it’s also cheap and silly, trashy and tasteless – but made with heart and passion. Good stuff!

The Bay
- I really liked V/H/S and Evidence, but The Bay was the fake footage movie (made like a mockumentary this time) that made my day. It has a realistic feeling and never goes over-the-top, and that might be the reason I like it so much. I’m familiar with the breed of parasites used in the story since earlier and it’s nice to see them used in this story. But yeah, it could have used more gore and monsters – but what can we do?

Thale
- This super-cheap Norwegian folklore-horror got a great reception at the Monsters of Film in Stockholm earlier this year. A claustrophobic intelligent horror movie which takes a fine Scandinavian myth and makes something interesting of it, instead of the normal creature feature. Don’t except something big and spectacular like Troll Hunter, this is closer to European 70’s cinema than blockbuster Hollywood.

And... Some Guy Who Kills People, as a bonus - because me, the idiot, forgot to include it in the top ten of 2012! Excellent black comedy with a serial killer theme, smart and with some stunning performances - including legend Karen Black! Deeply recommended!

Close but not close enough: Evidence, V/H/S, The Tall Man, Attack of the Werewolves, The Raid. Good and great movies, stuff that I own and will watch many more times – but they didn’t make the list. Regarding The Raid – yeah, awesome movie, but I felt more attached to the director and stars earlier movie Merantau. The Tall Man can be seen as a disappointment, the ultimate anticlimax – but I like that they actually did what they did. Evidence takes the found footage-concept and makes it totally insane, V/H/S is a lot of fun of but is weaker because one or two crappy stories. Attack of the Werewolves is a damn fine Spanish horror-comedy, much like Shaun of the Dead, but Grabbers is still the best on in the genre this year.

The honorary title goes to Supermen of Malageon, an awesome Indian documentary about a filmmaker and his team in the working town of Malageon who makes their own local blockbusters. Heart-warming and funny, one of the best documentaries I’ve seen in years.

And he worst one? Well, I don't like to bash movies but one specifically movie that includes the words "Dear", "God" and "No", is among the worst and most untalented shit I've seen this year. I rather dip my cock in the frying pan than watch it again.
So, that’s it darlings. What do YOU think is the best movie of 2012?