Necronos (2010)

First of all, I have to admit I never been interested in German gore movies. Never. I never felt interested in any of these hard-working gorehounds. Personally I've always wanted a good story first of all and if it's filled with massive amounts of gore, that's just fantastic. But I rarely find such a movie and to be even more honest, Necronos isn't one of those movies either. Anyway, I first heard of it in 2011 when my fellow buddies Jocke and Jason hanged around the Necronos-table at Weekend of Horrors way too much and later on Dark Entertainment in Sweden released it on DVD... and now, ages later I've seen it and to my surprised was entertained by it! What's wrong with me? Have I finally passed over to the dark, German side of cinema entertainment?

During ancient times an evil warlock (or something), Necronos, who's having a deal with Satan, fucks up everything around him and is killed. Many years later, "now", he wants revenge and sends out his henchman, a zombie named Goran, to fetch humans for the resurrection of Necronos. And that he does. Over and over again until they find the perfect human to use in the ritual to bring the warlock to life again! Yeah. I think that's it.

Director Marc Rohnstock have created a trashy and fast-moving splatter flick, and my fears that the 127 minute runtime would bore me to death didn't become reality. Which by itself is a very impressive thing. A movie of this kind shouldn't be longer than eighty minutes, well until now. So what's so good with it? First of all: it's consistent. It's 127 minutes of cheap, trashy gore and nothing else. Well, a lot of nudity also. But it's not quality rollercoaster, it's a film that stands proud on its two sleazy, naked feet and never tries to look polished one second - just to bring up the production values. It stays true to the consumer camera gore-splatter-nudity-o-rama it set out to make. That is something I respect a lot.

The second thing is that the gore is consistent. There's not just a teaser splatter-effect in the beginning and a lot of off-screen shenanigans, everything you see here is on-screen and very very very gory, graphic and nasty. It's not a movie I would show anyone outside our little awesome sphere of genre fanatics. Never. It's a movie for us and no one else. The gore is mostly quite good to. It's simple effects like chopping of heads and stabbings and ripping of body parts, but they work fine and is quite nicely edited.

The actors...well, it IS a German super-cheap splatter movie and therefore the acting is what it is. But that's also something that belongs in this genre, it's needed and who the fuck cares if someone who's in the movie for thirty seconds just to get his head ripped off actually can act? Not me, that's not the reason why I'm watching it. A third thing that makes Necronos work is the directing. Yeah, it's not advanced, but it effectively tells a long story with very small means. The editing heightens this also of course. I'm impressed.

Necronos, this dirty, sick, twisted little motherf**ker of a movie is not for everyone. But if you're into this kind of indie-film I recommend you to go out and buy it on the double!