Dark Nature (2009)

Here we have an oddity, a Scottish (more or less) remake/homage too Mario Bava’s Bay of Blood. Marc de Launay’s slick thriller/slasher Dark Nature first seems a bit weird to be a product of 2009, where we are used to see more typical body count-thrillers and not something that mostly can be described like a slow-moving drama with some nasty kills spread over the storyline.

The story is as simple as it can be. A family with a younger boy and a teenager daughter is going on vacation to, I guess, the wife’s family village. They’re going to meet up with her mother and some other relatives. But the whole thing starts with an older woman getting brutally killed – and then, surprisingly – her killer is getting killed himself by an unknown killer! Yes, exactly like Bay of the Blood. What unfolds is remarkable similar to the Bava-classic. From the weirdo handyman to the insect-collecting man with a spiritual wife! Slowly they’re getting killed one by one (one with a machete in the face...) until the familiar ending…

Sorry, that was actually a lot of spoilers for you who have seen Bay of Blood. But wait, I think you might enjoy this little film anyway. It’s an ambitious and quite violent indie-flick with some gorgeous Scottish (I guess) landscapes and fantastic nature. I could kill for the house they use in the movie!

Even of much of the story is borrowed from Bava’s old masterpiece, it still stands on its own two feet and does it well, keeping the balance between homage and originality. The eurocult-vibes are strong, but lacks the prolific actors. It has some graphic violence and, if I remember it correctly, some minor nudity too.

The distribution is crap of this movie, and the best way to see it is to buy the Troma blu-ray, which is very cheap and looks very good. ‘Nuff said about Dark Nature, it’s an good movie, and probably the only remake of Bay of Blood we’ll ever see.

Kaalo (2010)

What’s missing in my almost collection? Indian movies, lots of Indian movies. So I decided to do something about that and start getting myself everything that sounds, looks and probably is a lot of fun. I started with Wilson Louis 2010 horror movie Kaalo (“First Ever Day Horror”), because I heard good stuff about it from people I trust and the simple story seemed right up my alley!

A bus with the usual suspects: the young horny couple, some disrespectful hoodlums, a silent hero, the comic relief bus-staff, a fancy fashion photographer and his model and an older couple on their way to meet their grandchild. Everyone is kinda happy, until the road they’re travelling on disappears in a big hole (probably leading to hell!) and they are forced to take the road leading thru the deserted village of Kulbhata! It’s deserted for a reason: a big, slimy monster-witch is killing everyone getting close to the place with her big spear! She also has gigantic wings and can crawl underneath the surface of the ground, sucking people beneath and killing them! Will they make it?!

Kaalo is a cheap, quite rough horror movie. But it’s a very entertaining and energy-filled piece of exploitation. The director Wilson Louis takes his inspiration from Evil Dead, Tremors and Jeepers Creepers, which if this was a SyFy Channel production could have been very boring. But the frantic pace, the wacky visual solutions and the non-stop monster action make Kaalo a winner! Just don’t expect big Hollywood-effects. It has some dodgy digital effects, but it’s so colourful and fun that everything is forgiven. I LOVE the monster-witch for example! Green and slimy, with a huge tongue and those wings, armed with a spear! Very violent chick, I tell ya, and she uses her weapon to impale and hit a lot of victims.

I can’t say it’s a gory movie, but it has a lot of goo and blood, and a few graphic stabs here and there. Not bad, could have been more, but I can promise you that when this movie starts you will – especially after the excellent opening (which has a kill that reminded me a lot of The Hills Have Eyes-remake by Alexandre Aja) – never be bored. And yes, its 81 minutes long and has maybe 2-3 minutes of song which I think is a great choice. Horror and monster first, a little bit song on the side.

This movie made my day, and a perfect inspiration to find myself more Indian genre movies!

Torso (1973)

One of the most meaningless issues in the world of movie-nerds is if Torso should be considered a ”slasher” or a ”giallo”. Yes, it’s true. I run into this discussion at least once a year, which makes it a more serious issue among horror fans than famine, war and child abuse. So now we need to get some stuff straight here: Torso is a giallo, the Italian thriller. It has everything a typical giallo should have: a childhood trauma, a killer with a knife, dolls, lots of murders and nice music. The only thing that make it slightly similar to what some people claim is a typical slasher, are the fact some of the young female victims goes to a villa on the countryside and get’s killed there. That’s it. And it does not mean the genre is “slasher”. Seriously, if a movie like The Prowler or House or Sorority Row was made in Italy they would be considered giallos, because they are thrillers. Damn, Agatha Christie is considered giallo in Italy!

Puh. Fuck it. Sergio Martino’s Torso is one of the most prolific and famous giallos of the 70´s, and it’s easy to understand. It has a lot of nudity, the gore is primitive – but plenty and the classy score the De Angelis-brothers are among the most famous and popular. And maybe it’s the future US slasher-ingredients what makes this movie even more entertaining because the final is one of kind and delivers a lot of tension without being especially violent. Even the mass-slaughter inside the villa is off screen, just the aftermath is shown. Genius, because one of the thing people remember is the über-violent ending! It’s the TCM-hypnotism once again, people just imagine and it turns out even better than the filmmakers probably planned.

I’ve always wonder if the crappy effects in the two first murders are meant to be that way. Both the girls, when the knife hits and when they eyes are pushed in, are very plastic – in one case almost doll-like. Or maybe that just fitted with the killer’s obsession with them being dolls? Probably just a weak day for special effects-guy and nothing more to read in to it, but I always react when I see it. Somewhere, I don’t remember exactly where, I’ve seen the infamous Il Mostro di Firenze-case being mentioned as a inspiration to this movie, but this is of course totally wrong. The first – maybe – murder was in 1968, which wasn’t that famous. The second incident happen in 1974, but it wasn’t until 1981 the police understood that there was a serial killer on the loose. So I think we count the Il Mostro-case out as inspiration for Torso.

This wasn’t so much about the story, which I think no one complains about. One million other blogs has already talked about the plot and the kills, but I feel Torso with it’s unique twists and turns, to be a one of a kind giallo that deserves slightly higher recognition than being presented a pre-slashers and a gore-movie. This is a high class thriller with ideas that even today feels quite fresh.

A classic.

The End of Agent W4C (1967)

Compared to overloaded fiascos like Modesty Blaise and Casino Royale from the same era (I still like them, even if they are quite tiresome in the long run), The End of Agent W4C was a huge success in eastern Europe and is remarkably similar in style of comedy as it’s more well-known siblings. The only difference is that this is a genuine fun movie with jokes that never falls flat.

Jan Kacer is Cyril Juan Borguette, Agent W4C, a secret agent that refuses to kill animals, have indestructible shoes and an old-fashioned alarm clock with everything from a car key to a nuclear bomb. He also has a lot of women after him, but they never seem to make him fall for them. This time he’s on a mission to an anonymous European city (Prague, which everyone fails to keep secret) from another anonymous European city (Paris, which is shown with a photo of the Eiffel Tower with the text “An anonymous European city”) to get his hand on a secret microfilm, hidden in a salt shaker. The local secret service in Prague want that micro film too and send out the only man they have available and can afford, their bookkeeper Foustka (Jiří Sovák) who fumbles his way thru the international spy-world with his faithful little dog by his side!

This comedy makes everything the right way, for once. The characters are very likable and instead of over-acting and funny faces they act realistic and with a very fine comic timing. The character of Foustka is obviously based on Inspector Clouseau, but with less slap-stick. Czech funny man Jiří Sovák plays the character with a straight face and like Sellers never seem to realize the mayhem he creates around him. Květa Fialová is the female heroine, and even if she’s doing a straight part with nothing particularly funny to do, she’s excellent, gorgeous and sexy as the combined Olympic swimmer/secret agent. Jan Kacer is a great lead, always black sunglasses (maybe a nod, tribute, to Zbigniew Cybulski who died young the same year and was a famous handsome Polish actor known for his sunglasses), a cool beard and with deadly karate-chops!

The story itself is a mixed bag of jokes which revolves around the central MacGuffin, the salt shaker and what’s in it. This is a world where everyone is a spy or a henchman hired by a spy, and in a famous scene absolutely everyone is a spy, hiding at a restaurant – from guests to the musicians. It all ends in the traditional huge fistfight row, like in Casino Royale or in dozens after dozens of western-comedies. The jokes are non-stop, but never tiresome. It’s 85 minutes of pure, classic comedy and it still holds up very well.

The End of Agent W4C is out on a nice-looking Czech DVD with English subtitles. Well worth purchasing for the collectors of spy-movies and classics from behind the iron curtain.

Ikarie XB-1 (1963)

I’m very fond of eastern European movies, especially when they tried their hands on genre movies like horror, science fiction, action, disaster etc. Why? Because they took it more seriously. They might have used the same clichés, but with a sense of “Lets do this for real, why make something silly when we can do it hardcore?”. Sure, I miss monsters and huge invasions, but I appreciate that questions asked and the opposite propaganda which feels fresh compared to, for example, US counterparts. This is the first Czech sci-fi I’ve seen, and I want to see more!

Spaceship Ikarie XB-1 is moving thru space, after years and years of travel. The crew (and technology) is searching for other lifeforms, but after such a long time routine has taken over and it’s just like normal life on earth – just maybe more boring. Suddenly they find a spaceship. The crew, humans, are dead – in the middle of card games and partying (capitalistic behaviour!). It also has a nuclear bomb, which goes of and infects our crew… will they make it, or will they be just another mission lost in space?

Maybe I’m totally wrong here, but I would like to call Ikarie XB 1 neo-realism in space. It has a realistic story without any mumbo jumbo, shows ordinary life on a spaceship, frequently uses handheld camera and just feels so much down-to-earth (haha) compared to sci-fi movies from other countries. Even if the interior of the ship feel quite dated and the uniforms aren’t that different what they probably thought was futuristic in the sixties, the atmosphere on the other hand is fantastic. The best scene is when they enter the found spaceship, which is both eerie and have sense of realism.

On the down side the movie is very slow and nothing much really happens, not regarding action or adventure. It’s just a daily routine on a spaceship for the most of the running time, but slowly accelerates to a thriller when the other spaceship and the radiation spreading. The ending is powerful, optimistic and gives a few goose-bumps – and maybe it was best leaving it there where it ends. Not showing so much more just triggers the imagination, which in this case only is a good solution.

Ikarie XB-1 is a slow and maybe not too exciting sci-fi flick from the former Czechoslovakia, but for fans of good sci-fi this is a must, a very well-made and intelligent written story which leaves a taste for more Czech sci-fi.

Dead Serious (2005)

I started my Sunday with watching Joe Sullivan’s criminally under-distributed Dead Serious, an action-oriented vampire-flick set in a New York gay bar! I’m not the one that says no to ambitious indie-movies and since I first heard of Dead Serious I wanted to see it. The concept is fun and feels like a fresh idea in a sea of the normal stupidity released on DVD. So was the movie any good? Let’s see…

A normal night in New York: Mike (Michael Weingartner), an accountant have one last meeting at one of his new clients, a gay bar and decides to meet up with his wife Susan (Felissa Rose) there afterwards. The night is young and the crowd is dancing, drinking and having a blast. One of them is Richard (a spot-on Patrick Swearingen) who goes there to find his husband, who he suspects might have an affair with someone at the bar. But his husband Troy (Brian Gianci) is actually a government agent, trying to figure out why people are disappearing around the bar – and now he knows. The bar is taken over by vampires and they, together with The Christian Action Army – lead by evil conservative reverend Bob Rivington (Carson Grant) – take over the US, transform all the gay’s to nice, decent heterosexuals with a serum and bring back God into everyone’s life!

Dead Serious is Die Hard VS Vampires VS gay comedy VS biting (no pun intended) satire! First let me start with a small complain. It ended way to fast. I wanted more of everything, and they only way I can see this happen is if Dead Serious gets better distribution so director Joe Sullivan has to give us a sequel. Because another action-vampire-horror flick with an accountant and his wife, a Broadway dancer and a government agent against killer Christians would be fantastic.

But at least, while it last, Dead Serious is a fun and smart horror-comedy with a good amount of blood and witty dialogue. It’s a low-budget SOV film, seem to be shot at a real bar somewhere and that is both a blessing and a curse. I guess the location stopped the crew from going really berserk with violence and gore, but also gave the movie a realism which I appreciate. It’s not without blood and the squibs and fangs is plenty! The best thing is the actors, which are better casted than many other horror-indies I’ve seen. From the trio of excellent bad guys, Thomas A. Cahill (imagine Jürgen Prochnow, but more dangerous), Paul Coughlan and Carson Grant to the very funny crew of The Decency Channel (for example Jack Halpin as Blanton Wheatley, the hairspray-obsessed TV reporter) to the likable heroes mentioned above. This is great casting with actors who can deliver smart and funny dialogue and at the same time give believable performances.

It’s quite hard to find Dead Serious, which is a damn pity, because it really deserves better distribution. It’s one of those rare indie-movies that try to making something more than just shooting another boring slasher in mom’s backyard.

The Silent House (2010)

First of all, I’ve seen a lot of references to The Silent House being a found footage-movie. This is not the case, it’s a ghost movie with the concept of the one take-illusion, but it’s as far away from the typical handheld documentary footage some people claim it to be. This is a pure, complete cinematic experience from the first frame to the last and it is more or less excellent. The only complains I have, and I know I rarely complain, is that it gets a bit too generic when it comes to the many ghost house clichés it delivers during its short running time. There are creepy girl ghosts, freaky Polaroid photos, bumps in the night, complete darkness with photo flashes used as light, something or something gliding by the camera in the foreground (a speciality that only John Carpenter made work, in – among others – The Thing) and so on. But what the f**k.

Laura (Florencia Colucci) and her father Wilson (Gustavo Alonso) goes out the countryside to help her fathers friend Nestor (Abel Tripaldi) taking care of his house for a couple of days, moving the lawn, fixing the garden before the people who bought it arrives. They’re gonna start early in the morning and arrives late at in the evening to able to start working early. Nestor tells them to not go up on the second floors, the floor and roof aren’t safe there… It won’t take long until Laura hears a terrible noise from the upper floor, and loud banging on the walls. Her father tells her to stay put while he goes up to check what the hell is going on… and he does not come down again…

The Silent House is such a beautiful movie! Shot with a Canon 5D Mark II digital camera, basically a still camera, but with amazing camera work. This is helps the movie because the cameraman can easily follow the actors around the house, even in the smallest spaces. Compared to another horror movie in one single take (which is true in the correct meaning with that one), “Cut”, this movie truly looks like a real movie in every sense of the word. Every angle, every movement are like from a normal movie, but everything hangs together in one piece. The technical part of the movie is simply stunning.

But the true magic of The Silent House is the script. It’s not overly complicated, but what makes it stand out from the rest is the lack of dialogue. Sure, they talk – but just the most necessary. There are no long talky scenes to fill out the story and explain the meaning of everything. The story is told almost in it’s entity by acting and camera work, not talking. This means hard work for Florencia Colucci who is in most of the shots of the movie, going from a normal shy young woman to afraid like never before.

Sure, what the movie could have used was more original ideas. But I also guess that talking on such an experiment maybe leaves out a too complicated and innovative script. It’s a pity, but the movie is still so good that it really does not matter in the end. This is one helluva horror movie, and I really hope that director Gustavo Hernández continues with the same quality and not being sucked up in the studio system (which means first a remake of a European movie, then a bigger original movie that flops and then back to DTV flicks with less or no marketing at all).

See it. Now.