Banglar King Kong (2010)

Finally on Ninja Dixon, the legendary - the obscure - the awful - the amazing... Banglar King Kong! I'm proud to say that I think I've seen every King Kong movie, every rip-off and every similar movie made (except The Asylum's King of Kong Island, but I need to watch it soon!). The original King Kong was one of the first movies I ever saw and it still haunts me since I was 4-5 years old and it was aired on Swedish television. Because I have a smart and cool mother she let me see it and since then I've been obsessed with monsters, big apes and miniature destruction. Thank you mom.

But back to Banglar King Kong. You all now the story and I have no intention to tell you what everyone already knows: female scream queen, boat, island, big ape, hero (with a nose that literary becomes invisible because of the bad picture quality of the movie), mad director, show in big city, ape climbing up skyscraper and falls down. This version is an interesting combination between the 1933 and 1976 version, the best of both shows so to say. Even if I have nothing against the message-heavy seventies version it's nice to see that they just aimed for simple (and I mean Simple with a capital S) entertainment and lots of silliness instead of going the more serious root.

Actually, if you turn of the colour on your TV - and the sound - this would look like a real silent movie, complete with unsteady and light-sensitive cinematography and actors doing their best to be as far away as possible from acting in a realistic way. Prepare for a lot of scene-chewing and dramatic poses and rolling eyes!

The effects ranges from bad to terrible with a crappy ape-suit (according to the filmmakers purchased from the US, so we can once again blame that country for all the horrible things in the world!) and very, very, very simple blue screen effects and miniatures that's so primitive I'm not sure I would like to call them miniatures - maybe just "cardboard boxes with holes in them"? It's interesting to see that it actually works and the sole reason for that is that the effects are crappy all the way, every single one of them - except those few shots that are actually stolen directly from the 1976 version, and they fit in anyway.

I also need to come out from the closet and say that I prefer bad musical numbers before good ones, and Banglar King Kong has plenty of badly staged, moronic and tacky sing- and dance-numbers for the whole family. Often shot with a handheld camera, very few other dancers, simple choreography and even the most pointless supporting characters gets a chance to rap - or what ever they try to do. And I love it. I love Love LOVE it! I mean, if I can participate in one of these musicals number then they must be good!

Banglar King Kong is one of those movies that can be used to separate real cult movie fans from fake ones. The fake ones are those who only have seen (brilliant) movies like The Evil Dead, Halloween, Re-Animator, Hellraiser, Dawn of the Dead etc and claims to be fans of subversive, original, odd, exploitative cinema. But they can't even get through a movie like an unsubbed monster-mash like Banglar King Kong or a three hour slasher-epic with kung fu fights from India. They're too lazy and therefore they just belong to those mainstream "cult movie fans" who happily share specific scenes on Facebook from Banglar King Kong but never dares to the watch the whole movie.

I might be making fun of some movies here, but remember one thing: if I didn't love them I wouldn't watch them. What's the point of watching (and writing about) movies you dislike or even hate? I love primitive movies because I'm tired if big, smart productions. Along the way a lot of love and passion disappears it seems.

Banglar King Kong IS incompetent and extremely silly but it has a lot of trashy love to share with us all. I wish it was easier to find, but with the stolen footage, music and story I guess it will never get a proper release outside Bangladesh - or even inside the country.

If you want to see a lot of cool screenshots (and read a superior review), head over to Tars Tarkas for an impressive piece of in-depth analysis of Banglar King Kong!

I think I can see a nose. Not sure.

The clothes! The Clothes!!!! Arghhhhh!!!!!

One of the spectacular dance numbers!

The comic - and slightly disturbing - relief!

A sad native.

Miniatures... kinda. Almost? Maybe? No!

The Guardian (1990)

When watching The Guardian it might seem like a very odd film for William Friedkin to direct (like John Frankenheimers masterpiece, The Prophecy), but Friedkin came in when Sam Raimi had to bow out and direct Darkman instead and it still in many way feels like an eighties Raimi-film, but on the border to the slicker and more expensive horrors of the nineties. I've seen The Guardian a couple of times over the years and I'm starting to LOVE this film. Happy for me - and for many others - is that it just been released on DVD in Sweden by Njuta Films, under the Swedish original title "Djävulens Barnvakt" (it means The Devil's Nanny)!

A young successful couple has gotten their first child and moves to a new house in LA to start a new life and get rich. They have some problem finding a good nanny, but when their first choice dies in a bicycle accident the one after fits even better! She seem to get instant contact with the little boy... but soon they realize that she's not who she claims to be. Instead of a normal nanny she's a killer, a woman who worships a tree-demon out in the forest behind the house and now she wants their little boy for yet another sacrifice!

A killer-tree. Yeah. And one big scene with a chainsaw. This could have been a perfect project for Sam Raimi, but I wonder... I wonder if this movie didn't turned out better with a master like Friedkin behind the wheels. It has a certain degree of silliness, but the violence (which is very blood and graphic, nice gore!) and general nastiness of the story is something Raimi never would touch. This is a crazy motherfucking killer-tree movie for a mature gore-seeking audience, with lots of nudity and a very nice and subtle reference to Day of the Triffids.

The story is simple and pacing fast. Not much time is spent on building up an atmosphere in the classical sense. It just happens and it happens in the hands of a master. Friedkin knows what he's doing and he understands that a movie about a nanny worshipping a demon-tree needs entertainment, it needs the gore and nudity to - actually - be taken seriously. A brooding tension wouldn't work with such an absurd premise. It might sound like the movie is very silly now, but it isn't. Believe me. It's an effective horror story, but it stays away from being low-key. And we should be grateful for that. That first scene when the tree is killing of three thugs is one of a kind, with over-the-top gore worthy of the early eighties.

What do we get? A crushed head, some ripped of limps, a some wonderful impalings, nasty dog bites, chainsaw action... this movie has everything a simple, acne-infested gore hound would like to have. Damn, I love this movie so fucking much even as the grown man I am -  with apartment, cat, partner and vacations in Thailand.

This is also one of the last times I've seen a real, actual, baby involved so much in the action. The handling of the child can probably provoke certain sensitive (= wimps) in the audience, but everything looks safe and it's just the magic of editing who works extra good.

The Guardian is a very underrated movie by William Friedkin and if you've been avoiding it because you have thought it would be bloodless and boring - don't listen to those inner voices and trust me. This is fun Fun FUN and even more fun!

Khooni Murdaa (1989)

Mahakaal by the Ramsay family is probably the most famous Hindi Elm Street-remake, but four years earlier director Mohan Bhakri unleashed Raanjit, an obsessive serial killer and rapist on the world in Khooni Murdaa - which takes everything good from the Elm Street franchise and cooks it to something very fat and unhealthy. Yes, no other country know how to boost an original movie and make something even more entertaining from it. Khooni Murdaa is no exception! The story is familiar, yet... not. Or yeah, maybe it's more familiar when you see it.

Raanjit (Kiran Kumar) is really sadistic serial killer. He likes sneaking up on young lovers in cars and kill them! One day he's finally caught, is sentence to psychiatric care. Like all clinics in horror movies they are easy to escape from, and so he does - running into a gang of over-aged college students out camping in the forest. He tries to kill one of the women, but is caught and burned to death by them! Afraid that they've done something really bad the students hide the body in a scrapyard. But Raanjit wants revenge and comes back as a scorched supernatural avenger, armed with knifes on his fingers and eager to kill in the same way as his American buddy Freddy!

Here's a fact: Raanjit is a bad mother compared to that wimp everyone loves, Mahakaal! Raanjit looks badass, is very, very violent and kills more time than Mahakaal ever could imagine! He's dark and sadstic and lacks the campiness of Mahakaal and the comedy routins of Freddy. This is more a fast movie Jason Voorhees, but with more creative killings. Gore is something quite rare in Bollywood productions, but this actually have a few scenes of graphic violence and blood - very short, but still there to spice things up. Everything is like cheaper versions of the effects in the Elm Street movies, but the roughness is something I often appreciate. We all know it's not for real anyway and not even the crappiest effect can take me out from a movie (no, not even cheap computer effects - as long the story is good, or at least entertaining). Even the famous Johnny Depp-killing gets a Hindi make-over here!

Except the beginning and set-up Khoon Murdaa is quite different than the original Elm Street, more like typical slashers. But when the ghost of Raanjit finally comes back there's Elm Street scene for scene - at least a combination between part one and three, with a dash of silly comedy and dancing in-between! The final is the best:  it's long and has a high body count and a few fun stunts here and there. Like all Bollywood movies a few martial arts moves is tossed in for good measure, the way I want it.

You can find Khoon Murdaa on one of those 3-in-one DVDs from India. Cheap, very cheap, but without subtitles. Don't worry, it's very easy to follow this story. The picture quality isn't bad either and we can still enjoy the nice colours, which reminded me of the Ramsay family. It's a competent and fun, and cheap.

Evidence (2011)

If there's a found footage movie produced, you can bet I'm owning it sooner or later. For me there's nothing like a trendy genre or some fancy schmancy idea that some genres is worse than others. If people can buy slashers with the same identical story over and over again since the seventies I can buy every god damn found footage movie I find and enjoy them without shame. Regarding Evidence, I had NO clue at all what it was until that old rubbermonsterfetishist forced me to buy it (sometimes I wait so long to buy a movie he recommends that he buys it for me! For free! Like with Sauna! Yay!) I had the pleasure of watching it. So is it any good? Do Steven Seagal like Russian prostitutes?

Two couples are out camping in some national park somewhere. One of the guy is filming some kind (or "koind" as David Childress would say) of documentary, why? I have no idea, but it's a good way to get everything filmed - because after the usual tension ("Put down the camera!", "Can't you stop filming!", "I'm tired of having a camera up my face all the time!") and the camping seems like a really bad idea something actually happens... something as... well, I won't tell you, because Evidence delivers a lot more than I thought it would do from the beginning!

Yeah, after that traditional first half Evidence really takes off and becomes one of the most intensive and mysterious found footage movies I've seen. I guess you all can guess that there will be some kind of monsters or other deadly living things, and that's correct - and expect plenty of them. It's not entirely clear why everything is happening, but not in an annoying way. Here I just found it to be intriguing and wanted to watch the movie all over again to find clues - because I think there's some clues hidden. It can't be a coincidence that a silly joke in the beginning actually reflects in the end-credits, but in a serious way? Already now I have my ideas, but hey... I won't spoil anything!

By tradition found footage movies often isn't that gory or detailed, but the monsters and the blood and gore here looks really, really good - if very sporadic and blind-and-you'll-miss it. Actually, the main effect that comes back over and over in the movie is so friggin' good. And even better: damn scary! I found myself jumping straight up from the sofa several times! It's nice when something that could have been crap looks so good!

If I must complain about something is that it was easy to confuse the characters with each other. They look completely different of course - and all actors do great jobs - but when they start giving the camera to each other it's actually quite hard to follow who's in danger or not, who's disappearing and being chased. Not sure why this happens for me several times in this movie, but it could be some stuff being left out for pacing in the editing and I think it could have used some more explanations in the first half - and to be honest, some more clues in the second.

Confused or not, this is a lovely found footage movie, easily one of the most intensive and scary one's from the last year or so!

Operation Paratrooper (1988)

Here we have a forgotten Swedish oddity, or more exactly a co-production between Sweden, Yugoslavia and the US: Operation Paratrooper, now released by Studio S in Sweden under the title Fallskärmsjägaren. Starring none other than Andy Warhols old darling Joe Dallesandro! It's based on a story by extremely boring Swedish author Jan Guillou, but feels more like a mix of an Italian war movie mixed with an American slasher, with a dash of Swedish TV-production. This is the first time I've seen this movie in good quality, this is the best it looked in many years - but is it any good?

Joe Dallesandro is Sergeant Rayker, a tough motherfucker and an vietnam war veteran. He's deeply disturbed and treats his soldiers like animals, risking their lives with real ammunition and hand grenades. One day he goes to far and is fired and prosecuted for his stupidity. At the same time a general and his buddies are going up to a cabin to drink beer, do some illegal weapon affairs and just being macho - but Rayker is out for revenge and uses all his knowledge to kill them one by one, and the only man who can stop him is his own soldier who wants his own revenge...

How to explain Operation Paratrooper? For me it's one of those European genre movies that decided to me more serious and less trashy to be able to compete with the American movies of the same kind. This can of course be both good and bad. The Yugoslavian location automatically gives the movie a grey and quite boring look, closer to what we call social-realism (which is of course a lot more than locations, but I think you get my point). What takes out from the seriousness of the movie is the stupid dialogue and the over-acting from some of the talents involved. The best one is Joe Dallesandro, who here makes one of his most even and interesting performances I've seen, and its extra fun seeing him playing such a stuck-up, angry military when I've only seem him in more radikal and sexually liberal parts. Martin Hewitt, who plays Cooper, Rayker's old "student" also makes the best out of a badly written character.

Thank heavens Operation Paratrooper stick to it's exploitative roots and gives us an odd mix of First Blood, a random slasher and any war movie made during the eighties. It's is gory, but most of it is kept off screen and not show until the bloody aftermath, but director Frank De Palma keeps up the action with explosions and stunts and some nicely framed shots during the bulk of the movie. The ending feels a bit rushed and is hardly original, but works because the movie belongs to a certain degree of silliness.

Yugoslavian producer Djordje Zecevic (often credited under the name George Zecevic) also produced Mats Helge's ultra-cheesy rock-slasher Blood Tracks and I guess this means that Studio S was one of the last he made business with, because they're also releasing his Montenegro, a drama/comedy from 1981 starring Erland Josephson. I know it took for ever to close this deal, so I guess it was just a case of good luck that Mr Zecevic died in January 2012, after the deal was done after several years of communications through fax!

Operation Paratrooper/Fallskärmsjägaren is an entertaining and violent action-driven slasher-esque war thriller. And if that won't sell you this movie you probably should go back watching Arn: The Knight Templar or any other mediocre Jan Guillou adaptation!

RIP Ray Bradbury: The Veldt (1989)

Ray Bradbury died today, 91 years young and an author I consider to be my absolute favourite. He's the sole reason why I started to write myself and has affected my view on the dark and macabre in ways I didn't knew was possible.

I was five years old when I first experienced something Ray Bradbuy created. It was November 16th 1983, on TV2, Sveriges Television ("Sweden's Television"). Tord Pååg premiered his TV-play Savannen, based on Bradbury's 1950 short story The Veldt. It scared me like nothing else before that and still when I close my eyes I see a short clip of bloody, white clothes, laying on the floor. That's it.

That version is impossible to find, so I took the time to watch the 1989 version included in The Ray Bradbury Theatre TV-series, a Canadian project that produced an impressive amount of Bradbury-adaptations. Often cheap, but skilfully directed and with good actors. Here the story is set in a very eighties future with a stylish colourful home and kids dressed like Darth Vader and Princess Leila. Their nursery has taken over their life and the paranoid mother wants them to turn of their holographic 3D, stereophonic, room. The environment in there has grown more hostile: a savannah with very angry animals...

The Veldt is not so much about the dangers of technology as the danger of children. Evil children, egocentric children - sometimes using their still pure minds to manipulate and destroy. It's an effective story and even here, in a cheap Canadian TV-version, you can feel the chills going up your spine when watching the doomed parents trying to understand what's wrong with their dream home and their not so innocent children.

It's a powerful and dark story.

I wish I could see the Swedish version again. See that shot that's still in my mind, still haunts me when I close my eyes. Maybe it was the fear of loosing my parents, who was going through a difficult time then, or maybe the interesting possibilities of the future.

Because The Veldt is mainly about taking control over your life and let go of those grown-up that calls themselves your parents.

See you on the red planet Mars, Ray.

Aadi Yug (1978)

So you think you've seen it all? You consider yourself a cult movie aficionado? Well, forget it. You haven't experienced cinema until you seen Aadi Yug, a Bollywood caveman film several years before it became trendy with such movies as Quest for Fire and The Clan of the Cave Bear - and Ringo Starr's Caveman of course. I've seen worse Bollywood movies, for example the unbelievable Shaitani Dracula (review will come sometime in the future, when by brain damage has healed), but Aadi Yug and it's impressive stupidity will forever affect my life - both physical and psychological. So what the hell is this movie about? I have no friggin' idea, but here is what I could understand in-between my panic attacks and hysterical laughter:

Year one, the first two humans appears, a chubby Indian dude and an Indian gal with long hair. They are naked... kinda, because the lower half of the screen is covered with the ugliest matte paintings ever made - just to cover their white underwear (oups, yeah, they are seen several times). During one scene the matte painting disappears a bit early and we see how the lower part is covered with a thin layer of Vaseline. I guess they added the matte paintings later one when they saw that it was possible to see the underwear. ANYWAY... finally they mate (illustrated with the camera zooming in and out on a rock wall) and years later an early civilisation has raised from the depths of evolution. What happens next is that a whole fight between Frankenstein's monster and Baragon is lifted directly from Frankenstein Conquers the World, to show how a caveman is fighting a dinosaur! And that sets the tone for the rest of the movie, pure insanity!

Basically this is a movie that shows the everyday life of a caveman, or a cavewoman. Love, happiness, wrestling and watching black & white lizards with dinosaur-make up on a projected screen attacking. You know the deal. And every SECOND of Aadi Yug is smeared with the hysterical music created on an electric organ (you know the machine your grandma had a in corner and only used on Sundays?). I'm entirely sure I want to call it compositions, because some of it is just plain improvisations and some are just the automatic rhythm section being played in the background! It almost becomes hypnotic and my mind started to imagine what I could do if I found the master tapes: a triple disc limited edition of the soundtrack? Liner notes by Jason Meredith?

...that was a great idea until my partner, G, looked up from his computer and said: "I would like to meet the people behind this movie and ask them what their vision was?". Yeah, that would be a very good questions. I have no idea how this movie ever came into production. How did they raise money for a script-less movie without real dialogue (it's only screams and grunts), nothing of those typical Bollywood song and dance-numbers and actors so ugly they could kill a nun by looking at her!

Aadi Yug is incompetence in the form of  caveman-movie and I dare you all to sit through it! Now I have done it so you wouldn't have to. Be grateful, very, very grateful for that!