Det Okända (2000)

After The Blair Witch Project everyone wanted to make their own digital horror movie in the backwoods somewhere. Me and a couple of friends made what probably was the first Blair Witch-spoof, The Ninja Spirit Project. Entertainment Weekly payed over 900 Swedish kronor to get a VHS-copy shipped to New York! Poor them! Anyway, Det Okända (aka The Unknown) was a hyped project the arrived to cinemas in the year 2000. Shot with digital cameras and with the same rough style like Blair Witch, but no mockumentary, it was a small success. I remember it to be quite boring, but I decided to give it a new look and surprise… it was better than I remember it to be!

Five geologists are travelling to the north of Sweden to examine how the landscape has been affected by a big forest fire. When they arrive they soon find a strange object, like a deformed animal. After the first nights drunken party one of the members becomes ill, starts to bleed from her private regions. Soon she behaves more and more strange, and everything seem to be connected to the strange “animal” they’ve found… The paranoia is spreading, and soon something is taking over their bodies one after another…

A mix between The Thing and Blair Witch, but with much smaller budget and a cast of (then) unknown actors doing their best to behave naturally in front of the camera (which seem very hard for Swedish actors to do!), this works fine – a lot better than when I saw it the first time. I probably compared it to much to Blair Witch (a much scarier movie), but after so many years this holds up very well. The acting is sometimes a bit uneven, but most of the time really good – so is the (adlibbed?) dialogue. The photography is rough and simple, very grainy video-footage, but adds a lot of atmosphere to the dark Swedish forest.

It might not be scary, but it’s never boring and gives a few thrills here and there, especially when the paranoia sets in during the last half of the movie. One thing they’ve stolen completely from The Thing is when the look another character up and that person are trying to convince them to let him out. It works good in this movie too.

The “alien” (or what the hell it is…) might look like a deformed barbecued chicken, but Det Okända works a lot better than it should. If you can find it on a DVD with English subtitles, I recommend a purchase.

Frank Henenlotter to Stockholm!

This is really cool awesome mega-cool news for us in Stockholm, Sweden. SubDVD and Njuta Films will arrange an evening with Frank Henenlotter in our little main capital of Sweden! The last Sunday in October of course, the 31st!

It only costs 150 Swedish kronor and it begins at 15:00 with mingle together with Henenlotter, then a screening of Brain Damage, after that a Q&A together with famous film journalist Ronny Svensson and finally another screening, Bad Biology. Njuta is releasing Bad Biology on DVD and Blu-Ray, so of course you will be able to purchase that release a little earlier - and of course get it signed by Mr Henenlotter himself!

Read more here - in Swedish - or on Facebook.

I'll be there, so if you are a reader, try to find a fat bloke in a striped jacket, glasses and a patetic beard who have a tendency to stutter when he's close to famous and talented people that he adore ;)

Sharktopus (2010)

I was very fond of Roger Cormans earlier SyFy-production Cyclops, with Eric Roberts and some impressive left-over sets from a bigger production, so it was with joy I heard the news about Sharktopus – the best creature feature-title ever? But if that’s not enough, Sharktopus also gives us a performance by Brent Huff, the mega-star from Strike Commando 2, Born to Fight, Nine Deaths of the Ninja and a lot more classics from the eighties.

The main idea with creating such a monster like Sharktopus is that the US military will have something to use against drug smugglers! It’s controlled by a remote, but after an accident the Sharktopus looses its remote and is out to kill, kill and kill!!! Eric Roberts is the inventor of our hero, and her daughter co-inventor. Now they need to catch it before it can kill, kill, kill even more!!!

Jaja, as we say in Sweden. The story is so-so. Nothing special. The typical creature feature storyline used a billion times on the SyFy Channel and since the dawn of monster movies. Like The Asylums latest monster movies, Sharktopus has its tongue firmly placed in the cheek and has at least one Sharktopus-attack ever ten minute. Everything is computer graphics, except a few rubber-tentacles here and there, but fits good to the glossy, sunshine style of the movie. It feels like a commercial for shampoo or some ab-fitness machine, but with very silly dialogue and a huge tentacle-monster munching half-naked hunks and babes.

But the highlight of the movie is the attacks, which is many and often very entertaining. The best one is already a classic, the bungey jump-kill, but I like when the Sharktopus is attack the WORST dance troupe in movie history and eat’s them one by one. He probably did something that the dance critics probably just dreamt about doing. Another victim is a poor worker who’s screaming “No, not like this” when the monster grabs him, and that after talking with his colleague about death!

I wonder if this line echoes the famous one from Night of the Lepus? It says everything about the movie:

"Excuse me! Everyone! There's a killer shark-octopus hybrid heading this way! So please leave the marina in a timely fashion!"

Sharktopus is a great movie for fans of stupid shark-movies (I’m looking at you Jocke!) and I can’t wait to own it on DVD – or even better, blu-ray (but I guess that never will happen)!

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

I stayed away from Leatherface for many years, because the Swedish tape was cut to ribbons by the weak distributors that wouldn’t dare take a fight with the censors. I’ve always prefered my movies uncut, at least the violence, and as close as possible to the director’s vision as possible (which makes VHS a no-no). When it finally was released in a nice special edition in the UK, I decided to buy it. That was a couple of years ago, and yesterday I decided to take a new look at Jeff Burr’s troubled production.

Kate Hodge and William Butler are Michelle and Ryan, a young trendy LA-couple on their way home. After some drama at a gas station where they meet redneck-idiot Alfredo (Tom Everett) and hunky cowboy Tex (Viggo Mortensen), they escape out in the night just to almost crash into tough guy Benny (Ken Foree). He first dosen’t believe them that a chainsaw-maniac is after them, but soon has to use his survival skills to defend himself against Leatherface out in the backwoods. In the meantime, Michelle and Ryan is stuck on a farm… a farm belonging to the infamous Sawyer-family…

Jeff Burr is an excellent director, his From a Whisper to a Scream is one of my favorite episode-movies ever. Dark and gritty, very cynical about humanity. TCM3 is never as dark as that movie, but it’s still very stylish and fun movie which might lack some of the trademark-sadism that Tobe Hooper gave the two first parts, but has more interesting and colorful character and for once a very strong hero (Ken Foree). The Sawyer-family is great, with R.A. Mihailoff as one of the best Leatherface-versions ever. The mumbling redneck Alfredo is a highlight to, and Tex and Tinker (Joe Unger) is a sadistic duo of…brothers?

The house in the TCM-movies has always been important, and the problem with this movie is that it’s way to clean. The random body parts just feels way to fake and you never get the sense of the organized chaos that should reign this family. Because if post-production trouble a lot of the grittiness and violence was trimmed, and what’s left in the unrated version isn’t that graphic – but still has a nice streak of violence thru all the horror scenes. The shoot-out, and everyting surrounding the kitchen, is the best and most TCM-esque scenes in the movie.

But still, Leatherface is a great sequel in a franchise that is more even than most movie-series. Almost every part has its own style, and so of course this one. Blue-tinted, typical early ninties, witty dialogue and that special kind of acting that you see very rarely in todays horror movies.

...And Henry Fonda as The President

If Henry Fonda was alive I would hire him and do a movie where he plays The President. The whole flick will be in his office where he talks in telephone how dangerous the situation is out there because of fires, killer bees, earthquakes and tsunamis. Only him and a telephone.

He would look more tired during the whole two hour movie. At the end he will have no tie and look a bit sweaty, a bit worn after the shocking events.

The credits would have all the stars: Charlton Heston, Lee Majors, George Kennedy, Ava Gardner, Olivia De Havilland... and Bradford Dillman as Major Baker. But you would never see them, only hear. Only two telephones, one normal and one red.

In the end the glowing sun raises behind him, thru the window in the oval office. He made it. With all these phone calls and looking worried, he made it. He saved the world. Pity his wife who died, crushed by a falling train, stung by bees and threaten by Marjoe Gortner.

But the President, still proud and strong after defeating the disasters, stands there with his gaze somewhere beyond the brighter clouds, brighter for a future without volcanoes setting fire to brand new skyscrapers.

The End.

Paganini Horror (1989)

Luigi Cozzi’s Paganini Horror might not go to the history as the best movie ever, or even of the year or the day – but it’s still a quite fun and cheesy lowbudget production with some bizarre ideas. It’s the superficial style of Cozzi that I like so much, he just want to make pure entertainment and nothing more. He’s capable of making more serious stuff too, but he seems to prefer fun and joy before more destructive horror themes.

A female rock band has hired a horror director to make a music video in Paganini’s old house. The producer rented/bough the house from a sinister Donald Pleasence, who then goes up in a big tower and throw the money all over the city. The video goes well until one of the women disappears, and soon they are all in danger when the Paganini-demon starts to stalk them with his dangerous violin!

There’s nothing much to write about Paganini Horror, but it flows by easily and is never boring. It’s fun to see Daria Nicolodi in one of the leads, and she’s easily the best actor together with Donald Pleasence (who has a very small part). I guess there wasn’t much time to shoot this movie, because the typical stylish Cozzi-quality is a bit weaker than usual, more longer takes without cuts and less focus on close-ups. Just much more simple editing.

I’ve seen Paganini Horror a couple of times over the years, and I always enjoy it without saying it’s even close to a masterpiece. But it’s just brainless entertainment, it has some gore – not to much though – and this crazy idea with Paganini walking around killing people with a sword stuck into his violin! I guess the concept is that he sold his soul to the devil or something similar.

But the wackiest thing is the song used in the music video. It’s almost a copy of Electric Light Orchestras old hit Twilight, but with the chorus changed to something else. It’s actually a quite catchy version and I wonder if it ever was released commercial on vinyl?

Paganini Horror is a colorful and silly movie that can entertain some of us, we who appreciates Luigi Cozzi’s talent and love for the cinema.

X-rental: Long Live Robin Hood

This Robin Hood-movie from 1970 is something I would like to see. Directed by the great Giorgio Ferroni too!